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I was talking to a friend on about how his weekend went, when he blurted out his frustration over the amount of time a girl kept him waiting for a date. She kept him waiting for nearly and hour for him to take her out on a simple date. Not a date to a ball or concert - it was only a casual date - at least that's what he thought. By the time she did appear "she was all dressed up like Barbie and looked like a blooming mannequin," he said.
This got me thinking about how seriously some women take a date, especially if she is date starved (have little or no dates). Let me tell you some of the thoughts that go through men's minds when things like this happen.
They begin to wonder if you are self obsessed, spending too much time to doll up and pretty up yourself. It is as if you are giving yourself a facelift just to go down the road to spend a relative short time with someone.
If you have to get a hair-do, new clothes and accessories they wonder if you will spend most of their hard earned money on cosmetics and clothes.
They wonder what you actually look like without make, and wonder if you are trying to cover up something or make up for the beauty you don't have naturally.
Here are some of my suggestions
Do not take too long to prepare for a date. Be well groomed and presented but do not over do it.
Do not invest too much time, effort, emotions or money
Why? The more effort and time you put the more you will be consciously or subconsciously expecting. Here are some things that may happen:
You have unrealistic expectations.
The man may not even notice, hence you will feel disappointed
The man may feel that it's over the top
The man may not even make any effort or same amount to dress or prepare like you so you are mismatched in your dress. This will make it awkward for you both.
The more dress you are the more you are force to behave in a formal or contrived many. This may make him feel very self conscious and awkward.
What to do
Make sure all your initial dates are casual and dress accordingly
Be well groomed but not dolled up
Dress comfortably but not over the top. Dress so that you can have fun and join in some sort of physical activity.
Remember if the guy asked you for a date, he is already impressed with how you look, you do not have to convince any more. He simply wants to find out more about your personality.
This is not a beauty contest and you are not on a catwalk, relax and let the better part of you shine through.
Don't concentrate on the impression you are making on him, be genuinely interested in him and he will fine you interesting.
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