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They Come In All Shapes and Sizes
Most of the bullies are the children we love and care for. But they sometimes misbehave at school like they do at home. It is important for a target to differentiate between kids who enjoy bullying, mean kids who dont care, and careless children who dont realize their behaviors are harmful. Once confronted, the latter are often surprised and ashamed. Thus the target needs to understand that not all bullies are the same. He also needs to understand his role in allowing this game to continue.
There are two main types of bullies:
1. the malicious, or saltwater crocodile, and
2. the non-malicious, or the fowl that plays foul.
1. The salt water crocodile
The saltwater crocodile is extremely dangerous and cannot be trusted. If you get caught, then try to escape or fight back, you become history. This malicious bully at school is a sociopath or a psychopath in training. However, if you pretend to be lifeless, the crocodile has been known to lose interest and release people who play dead. Fortunately, only a very small percentage of bullies belong to this group.
Crocodiles:
have differently wired brains to normal people, affecting their social, emotional and cognitive functions
are made, not born, and their cunning, aggressive tendencies can begin as early as two years of age
are more difficult to change the older they become
lack a conscience and empathy, and enjoy others pain
have minimal insight into how others perceive them, e.g. a Queen Bee
dont know how to relate effectively, and have poor intimacy skills
enjoy the challenge of bullying children who fight when attacked or retaliate, and
may be cruel to animals (usually boys rather than girls).
2. Fowls that plays foul
There are many types of fowl here are three examples:
The peacock that struts his ego around the playground.
The chicken that gradually pecks away at the weaker ones until it destroys them.
The lyrebird that copies others and goes with the flow.
These bullies are basically non-malicious: they say things like, We were just having a bit of fun, we didnt mean to hurt, or If you cant take it, leave the group. They are your ordinary, everyday bullies, your children, cousins and neighbors as well as their current or former best friends. They:
believe their actions are non-toxic
may or may not have empathy for others feelings
are bored, looking for action or entertainment (like reality television)
have a strong need to compete, win or dominate others
react to a perceived insult, dispute or broken friendship
view bullying as a way to climb the status ladder (especially true of ex-targets). They say, If you cant beat them, join them
switch on and off sometimes friendly, sometimes not, and
are ashamed once their behaviors are exposed.
By: Francis David
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